PLANNED PARENTHOOD HIRES ME FOR NEW 2024 MOBILE CAMPAIGN!

 WTF. This is CRAZY. Its also the gift that keeps on giving.

PLANNED PARENTHOOD FINALLY DELIVERS!! (and guess who got a job in their marketing department) __________________________________________________________________________ "These abortions are running so wild, we need to MOVE, and do it pronto and not infront of a meter!" We pay the parking, you burn the rubber! "Were gonna deliver the abortions to you, kids, so stay out, and stay permiscuos, and definitely stay put if your a newly prego bimbo, unreaady for motherhood, or just because." BEEP BEEP...were so horny for your business, we bought an old ambulance from a police auction and turned into a semi-food truck so you can also get delectable mexican fare and a mojito you would kill for on a sticky day. We also have a 1 for 2 deal where you bring a friend/family member/PP graduate/alumni and we WILL use the same materials and do it in less time SO less waste! ...while YOU BOTH win! BOGO BINGO where we give you a free puppy for every puddle we produce from your poor poor poor ol improperly pounded poon and have a stranger name it while you wait for the after-photo! Any unclaimed puppies will be removed and reconstitued according to PP TOS. Which is also what we do with our urine samples every Wed night at 9PM. For a premium, you can have your husband or significant other Xem, AGP or OMG undeadname your precious memory forever! Hey, If its never been alive, than it's the name that lives forever! (*see fine-print*). It's a ...REMINDER! Planned Parenthood is proud to announce an early bird special where if you beat us to the punch, well get a kick out of devouring the worm, while you get a Mani-Pedi and a Tequila based alcoholic drink of your right to choose! Let PP be your DD. Never choose drink and drive. That is wrong. PP BEEP BEEP Benefits are all for the tiny expense of less than supporting a hungry mexican child with your coffee money each day AND PP allows you and your attourney to transfer your responsibility at a fraction of the holestale value and carry a balance for the next visit. All spa-care and alcoholic beverages start at 9 am! Our cooks are up all night and they never sleep on the need for skreetch in the streets, or heartbeats to delete! Our RUSH HOUR specials will have you treading on the spot. Abort all your travel plans today! Whoaaaa, Nelly? We promise to make a vas deferens in your ungodly demon womb and SJW-cleanse your belly back to beauty so well, and have you back in the booty in no time flat! We will change your pads, IF give us a brake and donate for science sake! *used donations will not be accepted after labour day* BEEP BEEP! who got the keys to the.... UNCONTROLLABLE ROLLING VOMMITNG (felt that coming out sorry) *chin wipe* Look for the gullwing doors and the countless smiles! We recently installed a Hummer VIP lounge brought to you by Hummers for trans women who identify as lesbians, and their poly-co life partners, Publix. Watch for the drag queens handing out BC/Helium/Skunk extract baloons that pop loudly so you know it worked! *not to be inhaled*. *all those interrupting ANY fetus storytime hour will not be permitted to partake in PP's procedures, and no refunds will be issused, but as always, The HRT Banana "Plushy Pat" will be in full costume and slipping on a jimmy to hand out identity-affrming gender meds to all the kids who bring a donation for the Make a Different Wish Foundation! Chevrolame Presents: 2024 Abortion resposnse Stingray, its no longer a manual operation, for that feature you have to add the VIP package -which will be sure to make your tranny drop* (instruments not included) *(reusal fee) *duplicate name charge* NEW bronzing forcepts COMING NEXT MONTH! Take home more than you came with! PPGR: Plannable Plunging due to Unplanned Pumping? PP is now fit for the immorally immobile. exit with tacky childrens theme and Kamala giggling like a cold turkey and a 3 year old holding a box of chiclets What a lifesaver. The Highway to hell just got a little cooler. BEEP BEEP DROP ONE ON US TODAY! Thank you, Planned No Parenthood ever! Business is Boomin' baby.